Knowing Your Options and Planning Ahead

How Personalization and Preplanning Can Create the Goodbye You Want — and the Comfort Your Family Needs
One thing I love about my job is the opportunity to educate families on what is possible when it comes to a funeral or memorial service for their loved one. The traditional image of families dressed in black at church or the graveside, completely solemn, still has its place in the modern day. Funerals are a time to come together and mourn, sharing grief and learning to accept what has been lost. But more and more, I find memorial services filled with laughter and a chance to tell a loved one's story. This may be a display of tea cups, recipes on memorial cards, or tomato plants used instead of flowers. When I help families write obituaries, I ask them, "What do people say when they talk about your dad? What will make people think of him when they see it?" I've helped transform our funeral home into a carpenter's woodshop and a beach retreat for someone who loved traveling to Florida. At those services, along with the traditional prayer cards, we gave away carpenter's pencils with the deceased's name on it and vials of sand and shells for guests to have as a keepsake. Creating those unique environments brought up fond memories for family and friends and encouraged storytelling throughout the visitation.
Recently, I had a woman reach out to me to preplan her funeral. I had taken care of her son several years before, so I knew her fairly well, but several months ago, she had been given a cancer diagnosis with only a few months to live. I visited her home to discuss what she envisioned for her service. She had chosen cremation with a memorial service and was able to designate some friends to take care of the arrangements instead of family who lived further away. Once we covered the basics, I asked for more details about what she wanted the service to look like. She was very detailed in who she wanted to speak (even some of what she wanted them to say), what pictures she wanted out, and what food she wanted catered (we had a huge tray of her favorite - blonde brownies!). And lastly, included in the obituary, was an instruction that all funeral guests please wear bright colors. She did not want this to be a sad event, but a party.
After she passed and we held her celebration of life, every single guest left with a smile or a comment of "This was exactly what she wanted!" And it was - because she was able to preplan and tell me all of her wishes to make the event exactly what she wanted, but also what her friends and family needed after her passing.
While personalization can make a funeral or memorial service especially memorable, sometimes the type of service a family selects is just as important. While cremation is the preferred choice for most families these days, there is still usually an option for viewing before cremation as a chance for a final goodbye. This may be a private viewing just for a few family members — maybe for someone who had been out of town and didn't get a chance to say goodbye — or it may be a full public visitation with a rental casket. Whatever form of final disposition is chosen - cremation, burial, or entombment - a final viewing can be incredibly helpful in finding closure and moving through your grief journey.
As a preplanner, I hear many reasons for people not to plan ahead- whether they're not ready financially, think they're too young, or just don't want to talk about their eventual death. But the fact is that preplanning actually solves all of these excuses:
If you preplan, the financial burden can be lifted from your family and may even save you money in the long run if service pricing is guaranteed.
We never know when our time is coming, so give yourself and your family the peace of mind of knowing things are taken care of.
Lastly, even though the conversation can be hard, you can only get what you want if you say something. Deciding what kind of services you want and making your wishes known can ease stress on family members who are already going through an emotional time.
Hard conversations are a part of life. So is death. Taking the time to learn about the options available for your funeral and what may help your family after you are gone can be the best gift you can give them —and yourself.
by Amanda King Funeral Director

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Should You Have a Reception After a Funeral? Why Families Are Choosing to Gather Afterwards

By Stacy Smith, Licensed Funeral Director • September 28, 2026

There is a moment after every funeral service when the structure of the day falls away. The readings have been read. The prayers have been prayed. The casket or urn has been carried or placed. And then - almost abruptly - it's over. Families walk out of the service and into a gap that can feel startingly empty. More and more, families are choosing to fill that space with something deliberate: a reception. Not as an afterthought or an obligation, but as one of the most meaningful parts of the entire experience. As a funeral director, I have watched this shift unfold, and I can tell you without hesitation that reception gatherings are changing the way families experience loss and remembrance. Why the Gathering Matters A funeral service is, by nature, a structured event. There is an order. A beginning and an end. It is important, even essential, but it is rarely the place where the deepest healing begins. That tends to happen in the unstructured time afterward, when family and friends are simply together in the same room with no agenda other than being present with one another. It offers time to talk, to reflect, and simply be together. A reception creates that space. It gives people the chance to tell the stories that didn't fit into the eulogy. To reconnect with family members who traveled from out of state. To hold someone's hand, share a meal, and simply sit with the reality of the day. The service says goodbye. The reception says we are still here, and we are in this together. It Doesn't Have to Be Elaborate Some families imagine a reception as a catered affair requiring weeks of planning and a sizeable budget. It can be, but it absolutely does not have to be. A reception may be coffee and pastries in the funeral home's gathering space, if allowed. It can be sandwiches and sweet tea in a family member's backyard. A shared meal at the loved one's favorite restaurant. Even a potluck at the church fellowship hall where your loved one attended services for many years. What matters is not the menu. It is the intention behind the gathering - a deliberate decision to stay together longer before everyone returns to their separate lives. The Personal Touches That Make It Meaningful The reception families remember most are the ones that carry the personality of the person being honored. A table of their favorite desserts. A playlist of songs they listened to on Saturday mornings. A photo display with handwritten stories pinned beside each image. A signature cocktail from the restaurant where they always ordered the same thing. These details transform a gathering from an obligation into a celebration. They give guests permission to smile, to laugh, and to share parts of the person they knew best. I have watched rooms go from somber silence to warm, tear-filled laughter in the space of a single shared memory - and that shift is almost always sparked by a personal touch that only the family could have though of. A Space for Everyone One of the most underappreciated aspects of a reception is that it creates a space for the people who were important to the deceased but may not have been close to the immediate family. Coworkers, neighbors, old friends, fellow church members - these people often feel unsure of their place at a funeral. A reception gives them a comfortable way to pay their respects, share a story, and offer their condolences without feeling like they are intruding on a private moment. This matters more than most families realize. The breadth of a person's life, the full reach of their impact, often doesn't become visible until you see the range of people who showed up to remember them. An Ending That Feels Complete A funeral without a reception can leave families feeling like the day ended too soon - as though they were given a profound experience and then sent home before they were ready. A reception provides a natural, unhurried close to the day. People stay as long as they need. They leave when they're ready. There is no program, no clock, no formality - just people who loved the same person, choosing to be in the same room for a little while longer. If you are planning services for someone you've lost, consider the reception not as an extra, but as one of the most meaningful elements of the entire day. It is where the formal farewell becomes something personal, something warm, and something your family will carry forward long after the day is over. Interested in hosting a reception as part of your loved one's services? Let us know how we can help. Frequently Asked Questions About Should You Have a Reception After a Funeral? What is a funeral reception? A reception is a gathering after the service where family and friends can share memories and support one another. Is a reception necessary? No, but many families find it to be one of the most meaningful parts of the day. What do you serve at a funeral reception? Options can range from light refreshments to full meals, depending on the family's preference.

What Families Wish They Knew Before Planning a Funeral and How to Prepare

By Stacy Smith, Licensed Funeral Director • August 28, 2026

After the service is over, after the flowers have been cleared and the reception line has dissolved and the house has gone quiet, families reflect. They think about what they would have done differently. What they wish they had known before they walked through the funeral home door for the first time. I've stood on the other side of that door for many years. The insights families share afterword come up so often that they're worth passing along - not as criticism, but as guidance from those who have already walked this path. What Should You Know Before Planning a Funeral? First, it helps to understand that you don't have to have everything figured out right away. Taking a little time, asking questions, and knowing what to expect can make the process far more manageable. "I wish I Knew That I Could Take My Time." The most common regret families share is feeling rushed. In the fog of early grief, every decision feels urgent. But almost nothing about funeral planning requires an immediate answer. You can take a day before scheduling the arrangement conference. You can sleep on decisions about caskets, services, and cremation. You can ask for time - and any funeral director worth their license will give it to you without hesitation. The arrangements will wait. Your clarity matters more than speed. "I wish I'd Brought Someone With Me." Grief affects memory and focus. Families who attend arrangement meetings alone often wish they had brough someone with them. A trusted friend or family member can help listen, take notes, ask questions, and share the emotional weight. They're not there to make decisions for you - they're there to support you, catch details you might miss, and remind you afterward of what was said. "I wish I'd Asked About All of the Costs Upfront." Federal law requires every funeral home to provide a General Price List (GPL), and a good funeral director will review it with you line by line. But families often hesitate to ask pointed questions about cost because it feels disrespectful or transactional in the middle of grief. It is neither. Understanding the cost of every element - before you agree to it - is your right, and it is the foundation of a trustworthy relationship between your family and your funeral home. Ask about package pricing versus itemized options. Ask what is included and what is additional. Ask if there are more affordable alternatives that still align with your wishes. Find out about cash advance items, like death certificates, clergy, or flowers. Funeral directors expect these questions and are happy to answer them so that you make the right decision for your family and your budget. "I Didn't Know I Could Personalize This Much." Many families walk into an arrangement conference with a mental image of a funeral that looks like the last one they attended - formal, traditional, and generic. What they often discover is just how flexible and personal a funeral can be. From music and video tributes to meaningful keepsakes on display, favorite foods, or readings by loved ones - there are countless ways to reflect a unique life. The most meaningful services are the ones that truly feel like the person being honored. Don't hesitate to ask for ideas. Personalization is where a service becomes a tribute. "I Didn't Know How Much the Service Would Mean to Me." This one comes up more than any other. Families who initially considered skipping a formal service - opting for direct cremation or a simple disposition - and then chose to hold a service anyway almost universally say the same thing afterward: they had no idea how much they needed it. The service is not for the person who died. It is for everyone still living. It is the place where grief becomes shared, where the full weight of a life becomes visible, and where the slow work of healing has a chance to begin. This is when stories are shared and the impact your loved one had on other people's lives is evident in ways you may not have known. Even a simple gathering can make a profound difference. Have questions before you make decisions? Our team welcomes that conversation - before, during, or after a time of need. Reach out anytime. We're here. Frequently Asked Questions About What You Should Know Before Planning a Funeral What mistakes should you avoid when planning a funeral? Rushing decisions, not asking questions, and not bringing support are common challenges families face. How do you prepare for a funeral arrangement meeting? Gather basic information, bring a support person, and write down questions in advance. What questions should you ask a funeral director? Ask about services, costs, timelines, and available options. How can you avoid overspending on a funeral? Review pricing carefully, ask about alternatives, and choose only what feels meaningful.

Knowing Your Options and Planning Ahead