Honoring Lost Moments: A Memorial for Those We Couldn’t Mourn
Five years ago, the COVID pandemic shut down the world, leaving us isolated in a way we have never experienced. While many are glad just to be past that time, be able to gather with friends and family, and get back to “normal”, many others are left with a profound loss that can never be regained.
In the funeral profession, we faced our own challenges, not only in the increased death rate but in what we could offer to grieving families. So many families chose direct cremation who otherwise would have had an open casket visitation or decided not to have services either because they couldn’t or because family members were sick or couldn’t travel. Live-streamed services were helpful, but many missed the visiting hours where stories were shared and hugs were exchanged. The day before, I was to host a large service- over 200 visitors were expected- and the order came to limit groups to 10 or fewer people. I called the young widow to ask her what she wanted to do, and we ended up canceling the funeral. To the best of my knowledge, she never rescheduled another gathering.
The thing about grief, especially in America, is that it is often considered private, something we don’t talk about because it’s painful, awkward, or maybe embarrassing. We think it’s something to get through, and eventually, everyone will be, given enough time. But that is only true when we actively grieve. While grief looks different for everyone, it must be given the opportunity to be expressed. Without those interactions of hugs and storytelling at the funeral, without the chance to gain closure at a final viewing or graveside service, the grief wasn’t being allowed to evolve. It, too, was being isolated. Those who lost a loved one during the pandemic, whether COVID itself was a factor or not, also lost the opportunity to express their grief and find closure.
In that line, Schramka Funeral Home will offer a special memorial service on Wednesday, March 19th, for all those who lost someone during the pandemic and may not have had the chance to grieve completely. We will share words and music of comfort, followed by a time of food and fellowship and a chance to connect with others who have gone through similar loss.
Contributed by Amanda King, Funeral Director and Preneed Counselor
